The Youth Of The Nations
by ThirdGenDrakon
Summary: Normal meeting. Not so normal shenanagens. Will not focus on Alfreds kids only. The story is way better than the summary. I OWN NOTHING! Except all OCs and plot line. Rated T for a certain brits language.
1. Chapter 1

**please note that all veiws expressed in this story are for the purpose of comedy and satire and are not intended to offend anyone. If i get angry reveiws scolding me for offending someone i will mercilessly laugh in your face. Enjoy. All oc are mine hetalia belongs to its owner disclaimer disclaimer yadda yadda yadda.**

Alfred should have known that the meeting was going to Helena, Montana the second it came to order. This month the meeting was held in his office due to complications where it had previously been booked.

Alfred barely managed to get things started before the sound of a door being slammed shook the house.

"Mein Gott vhat vas zhat?" Germany wondered.

"That unfortunately is the end of our meeting and the beggining of a very long explanation." Alfred sighed as he gathered his unused notes. "Brace yourselves."

No sooner had he said that, the office door was thrown open. Every head turned to the intruder. In the doorway stood a wheat blond teenager. Her hair was styled in twin braids. She wore paint smeared jeans and an old Yankees jersey. Her ocean blue eyes blazed with fury and sevral dutch profanities poured out of her mouth.

"You okay Yankee?" Alfred asked.

"Where is Micheal? Im going to kill him!" She growled.

England looked from Alfred to the girl aparently named Yankee. He noticed identicle cowlicks. "Wait a bloody second! Alfred is sher your daughter?!"

Yankees head whipped around her eyes locking onto the Englishman. Alfred paled and squeaked out something that sounded like "Yankee please dont do this."

Yankee however ignored him and prowled over to Arthur and punched him square in the nose. "You little name changing, city burning, tea taxing, scone eating jackwagon!" She yelled.

England tried to stop the blood leaking from his nose. Yankee continued her rant.

"You could have let me be New Netherlands. But noooo youre Great Britain you just had to have it all! Did you ever ask me what i wanted? No and why is that? Oh right because you didnt know i existed because YOU WERE NEVER THERE!"

England sat there eyes wide while Alfred's daughter recounted all his wrongs. Behind her Alfred was waving the Netherlands over to help.

"Ned a little help here."

The dutch man walked over and wrapped his arms around the state. (A fact which they had all come to realize.) "Calm down Natalie. I dont like seeing such a beautiful tulip so angry."

At the mention of tulips Yankee lost it. "Where the hell is Massachusettes?! That boy has hell to pay!"

 **oooh New York has got some beef with Massachusettes. What did he do? Next chapter will tell all. Now time for historical facts.**

 **1\. New York city was burnt down in 1776 supposedly by England**

 **2\. New York was originally colonized by the Netherlands**

 **3\. Boston and New York City hate eachother.**

 **Please reveiw. Y'all are beautiful people dont let anyone tell you otherwise.**


	2. Chapter 2

**greetings my lovelies im back at it again with the disclaimer. Satire and comedy peeps deal whith it.**

"Yankee just becajse the Red Sox beat the Yankees doesnt give you a reason to kill your brother." Alfred sighed.

"Im not mad about that. Okay maybe a little." She glared at her father. "Look outside."

Alfred peeked out the window and paled. "You said Micheal did this?" He asked.

"Yup." Yankee, who was still being held captive by Ned confirmed.

"Why dont you and Ned go to the kitchen and eat some cheese or something." Alfred suggested.

Yankees eyes lit up she grabbed Netherlands hand and dragged him out of the room. When Alfred was sure she was gone he turned to the other countries.

Germany raised his hand. "Can ve meet zhe ozher states?"

"Sure thing. In fact you are about to meet Massachusettes. You might want to cover your ears."

The nations wisely followed directions. "!MICHEAL ALEXANDER JONES GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" He screamed.

After a few minutes a brown haired boy the same age as Yankee walked into the room. He had forest green eyes and Arthurs eyebrows only not as thick. He wore faded black jeans, tattered old converse and a metal mullisha shirt.

"Whadya need dad?" He asked in a prominent bostonian accent.

"I need you to put your rear in that chair because you are in some serious trouble young man." Alfred spoke in a calm yet very angry voice.

Micheal sat, he slouched in the chair and crossed his arms.

"Why pray tell, would you destroy your sisters garden? And let me just say that your explanation better be good because your are going to explain to your sister why you destroyed her prize tulips. Which i may add were worth nearly two million dollars. She hand picked them in Amsterdam herself."

Micheal paled slightly and shifted unconfortably in his seat. He coughed nervously.

"Yankee poured tea on me and said i looked like England. Then she made her stupid glowing deer follow me around and she wouldnt stop calling me Beantown."

"So basically what she does everyday." Alfred commented.

"Then she had the nerve to say that the battle of Saratoga was more important than Lexington and Concord."

"Well seeing how it is the first battle we actually won it kind of is. But you wouldnt pull a stunt like that over the revolutionary war."

Massachusetts adverted his eyes. " she wouldnt stop ignoreing me. So i did the one thing she couldnt ignore."

"Why?"

"I uhh...may have said some things." Massachusetts looked like he wanted to melt into the chair.

The other nations were engrossed in the conversation. They had never seen Alfred in such a mature light. It made them understand his childlike antics. "What kind of things."

"That is classified information."

"If you do not tell me i will have Georgia beat your ass with a switch." Afred threatened.

Massachusettes sank down in his chair.

"I called her a confederate and may have also brought up the Manhattan Project, and 9/11. I also may or may not have blamed the Great Depression on her. I also said she was as fake as the Cardiff Giant."

Alfred stared dumfounded. He then slapped his son upside the head. "Are you fucking kidding me Micheal?! I cannot believe you! There is a reason we dont bring up those topics. The confederate thing you do all the time, you know that she had no idea about the Manhattan Project, but why in the name of Democracy would you bring up 9/11."

The nations scooted away from Alfred. The last time they had seen him this mad was Pearl Harbor.

"Im going to take a guess that this was three weeks ago."

Micheal nodded.

"You know how i know?" Alfred asked.

Micheal shook his head.

"Your sister has suffered from severe panic attacks ever since 9/11. I found her unable to breath three weeks ago because of you!"

Alfred took a deep breath in attempt to calm down. He pinched his brow. "Micheal, i want you to march your ass to the kitchen and apologize to your sister. When youre done get back in here because you are going to have hell to pay."

Massachusetts let out a soft "Yes sir." Before he left.

Alfred sat down in the chair rubbing his face. "I honestly cannot believe him. Sorry about that guys."

 **tada. Stay classy peeps.**

 **1\. A switch is a green branch from a tree that southerner used to beat their kids with. Rumor is that it hurts worse than a bull whip.**

 **2\. The cardiff giant was a large hoax that occured in new york. Look it up for the details.**

 **3\. The government keeps several glow in the dark deer in new york. No one knows why**


	3. Hell Hath No Fury Like Alfred F Jones

**I have RETURNED *applause* thank you, thank you. SATIRE. COMEDY. DISCLAIMER.**

 **I would like to clear some things up: the states are alive due to Alfred having a Federal Government, which is run by the people. Unitary governments, do not have personifications of their states/provinces.**

The nations could vaguely hear Yankee screaming at her brother downstairs. Russia twiddled his thumbs and stared at America expectantly. Eventually the man sighed.

"What Russki?" He asked slightly annoyed.

"Kak dolgo u vas byli deti?" Russia asked cheerfully. "i skol'ko?" he added as an afterthought.

Alfred blinked, "English Ivan. I'm not in the mood for this shit."

"How long, how many?" Ivan repeated.

"51 since Alaska's annexation. So about fifty years since Aleskei."

Ivan perked up, "Aleskei, he is here, da?"

"Yeah he's out back with the Huskies."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"It's open!" Alfred shouted.

A dark haired boy about nineteen walked in. Freckles dusted his cheeks and he had bright hazel eyes. He was carrying a child no older than a year. The toddler sniffled and his cheeks were stained with tears.

"Hey Virginia, aww, what's wrong D.C.?" alfred asked softly.

D.C. reached for his father, who took him gently and shooshed him.

"Daddy's got you. Did sissy scare you?"

D.C. babbled sadly catching Italy's attention.

"Bambino." He squealed and ran over.

D.C. hid his face in Alfred's shirt.

Britain turned his attention to Virginia. "'Ello Gin." He greeted.

Virginia turned to him. "well now, what have we got here?" He asked in a thick drawl.

"Looks like a Limey ta me." Said a carbon copy of Prussia. He swaggered in wearing a Penguin's Hockey jersey. He crossed his arms, but was tackled by Prussia.

"Petar! Mein perfekter sohn! So awesome and grown and looking like a man!"

"Ack! Dad help!" Pennsylvania called out.

"I got a kid." He held up D.C.

Virginia whistled to get Prussia's attention. "Yankee has a pretty interesting guitar collection wanna see?"

Prussia sprang up, "Ja. Ja Ja Ja Ja!" He cheered and ran off with Virginia.

The two were replaced by Massachusetts. He looked a little shaken up.

"You are going to re-plow the field, by hand?" Alfred instructed

Massachusetts began to protest but was silenced by a hand from Alfred. "You did the crime now do the time."

Alfred adjusted D.C. on his hip. "Then you are going to help your sister plant new Tulips and whatever else she has planned for you. Oh and one more thing, You're grounded until the end of daylight savings."

"That's like three months!" Massachusetts exclaimed.

"Your fault!" Yankee yelled as she walked by the door.

Alfred nodded. "You got about three hours until dinner so I suggest you get going. That field ain't gonna plow itself."

D.C. babbled in agreement reaching for his father's glasses. "Teckas."

Alfred watched his son wave the glasses around. Then his attention was caught by a collage of screaming. A twelve-year-old boy ran in. He was covered in red dirt from head to toe. His mocha skin and chocolate brown hair covered in dirt as well. "Papi! Ayuadame!" He wailed as he hid behind his father.

He was followed by a golden blond girl with sky blue eyes. She was about sixteen and was leading another girl who was also latin in appearance with big, brown, tear filled eyes. She whimpered and hugged Alfred's leg. The last to run in was a tall man, about twenty-one in a red flanel, mud covered boots, and a straw cowboy hat. He slammed the door shut. He was muttering something about the Alamo.

"Woah, guys, what's up?" Alfred asked.

"Teckas!" D.C. cheered and reached for the man in the hat.

"No, manches, papi!" The youngest girl wailed.

Alfred handed D.C. to Texas and kneeled down to talk to her. "Que esta mal nina? Estoy aqui, esta bien, dime que esta mal." He said softly.

"He speaks Spanish?" England asked.

"And Russian, French, Italian, German, pretty much any language." Texas said with a heavy accent.

"Mejico." The girl sniffled.

Alfred let out an exasperated sigh. " _Seriously?"_

At that moment, Mexico burst through the door. Simultaneously all four states screamed, "No manches, diabla!" Then they all sprinted out of the room. But not before Texas shoved D.C. into Alfred's arms.

"Honestly Mexico, would you stop terrorizing my kids?" Alfred asked.

Mexico ignored him, instead stared at his glasses lying on the ground.

"Don't you dare." Alfred warned.

Mexico dove for the glasses and snatched them up. Alfred gave shoved D.C. into the arms of the nearest country, which wasn't such a good idea seeing how that country happened to be Russia, and ran after Mexico. "Meeting adjourned!Get back here!"

"Texas is mine!" Mexico cheered.

"Not for long!"

* * *

Russia smiled softly as D.C. played with the ends of his scarf. "Scaff! Scaff!" He giggled.

"Ostan'sya so mnoy, da?" he asked.

D.C. looked at him in confusion. He babbled softly and reached for Russia's nose.

"You are cute, mahlyenki dyavol. Amerika was foolish to leave you in my care." Russia whispered to the capital.

Mexico and America barged back into the room. Mexico ran around the table, then was tackled to the ground by Alfred.

"Dada!" D.C. cheered.

Alfred put the glasses back on triumphantly, then realized who had his son.

"Okay, D.C. come back to dada." He held his arms out for the child to hold onto.

Russia put an arm around D.C. blocking his path. Alfred's posture stiffened. "Ivan." He said in a tone of warning,

"Relax Amerika, I only want a hug." Ivan said calmly, a challenging light in his eyes.

"Hug. Hug!" D.C. snuggled into Russia's chest.

Russia hugged the capital lightly, flashing a smug look at Alfred.

"Spasibo, mahlyenki Amerika." He said as he let go for D.C. to scrawl back to his father.

"Come here little star." Alfred beckoned as he scooped his kid up.

D.C. yawned widely. He snuggled his father sleepily.

"I think its about nap time, bud." Alfred told his son, "C'mon lets go."

* * *

 **Definition Time:**

 **Kak dolgo u vas byli deti (russian)- How many**

 **i skol'ko (russian)- how long**

 **Bambino (italian)- baby**

 **Mein perfekter sohn (german)- my perfect son**

 **Papi! Ayuadame (spanish)- dad help me**

 **Que esta mal nina? Estoy aqui, esta bien, dime que esta mal. (spanish)- whats wrong baby girl? I'm here, it's okay, tell me what's wrong?**

 **Ostan'sya so mnoy, da (russian)- stay with me, yes**

 **mahlyenki dyavol (russian)- little devil**

 **Spasibo, mahlyenki Amerika. (russian)- thankyou, little america**


End file.
